Active listening goes beyond just listening.

Active listening means being attentive to what someone else is saying in an intentional way. The goal of active listening is to understand the feelings and views of the other person.

Skills in Active Listening: 

Pay attention - Stop what you’re doing and look at the person to the best of your ability. If it’s not a good time for the discussion (based on barriers above), say so respectfully and define a specific plan to have the conversation as soon as possible. Lean forward and use minimal encouragement (head nods, eye contact, "uh-huhs" and "ok's"). Try to understand the content, not just the words. 

Ask open ended questions – These questions require the speaker to elaborate. Withhold judgment and have an open mind. Listen for the total meaning of the speaker’s message. Don’t interrupt. 

Reflect – Reflecting back what you hear the speaker say communicates your understanding. Reflections can include a literal paraphrase of the content. ("I heard that you got into a fight with your friend."). This could also be a reflection of the underlying emotional content of speech ("It sounds like you're upset."). The more you connect with the emotion, even if they haven’t stated it, the more likely the speaker is to feel acknowledged and validated.   

Summarize – Feed back to the speaker what you think they’ve said. While it may feel redundant, repeating back what you’ve heard communicates you're paying attention. For longer stories, it can be helpful to summarize the message that the speaker is trying to communicate. 

Share – Only share your ideas and/or opinion if requested. Most of the time, a person just wants someone to listen. Avoid the temptation to offer advice or contribute your opinion.